After all, we always want to feel like home is a place where we can be ourselves and feel at ease. But if you’re immediately greeted by tension and arguing when you walk in the door, you can start to feel like there is nowhere you can truly relax.
Solving conflicts between two people is hard enough. How can you solve a conflict in the house that involves your entire family? Here are a few steps you can take—and if you need further assistance, family therapy is always an option.
When you’re struggling with a conflict in the house, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking of it as “you” versus “everyone else.” But holding on to this perspective will make it impossible to solve the issue. Instead, try to think of it as “everyone” versus “the problem.”
Like it or not, you’re all family, and you’re all in this together. It’s up to all of you to come together to fix the problem. When you picture it as a battle between you and your loved ones, you’re not going to get anywhere.
Yes, you may be so frustrated with some of your family members that you don’t even want to hear their points of view. But sitting back and listening to what they’re feeling can actually help you gain some empathy.
Besides, if you want to live in a stable and relatively conflict-free household, you need to know what your loved ones are thinking.
Perhaps you could talk to your family members individually, or you could have a big family meeting. Choose whichever is more comfortable, and take the time to really listen.
You might feel like you’re at a loss when it comes to solving this conflict. But one of your loved ones could have a few ideas. When everyone feels ready, it’s time to start suggesting solutions. Give everyone the time to respond, and seriously consider what everyone has to offer.
It’s very important to be non-judgmental during this time. If someone feels like they will be mocked or criticized harshly for sharing their thoughts, they may end up holding back. You might lose the chance to hear an effective solution.
Compromise doesn’t have to mean that everyone is unhappy. It simply means that no one involved is going to get 100% of what they want.
When you’re trying to please an entire family with one solution, compromise will inevitably be involved. Once everyone has shared their thoughts on solving the problem, it’s time to take action.
Right off the bat, it’s important to recognize that taking the “my way or the highway” approach won’t get you far. Instead, you need to acknowledge that everyone’s feelings about the situation are valid, and compromising will make it easier to move forward.
Getting everyone on the same page to agree to family therapy may not be easy, but it’s worth trying. Sometimes, it can be tough for families to communicate, and having a therapist serve as an impartial mediator could be crucial.
Make sure to choose a therapist who specializes in family therapy. A few sessions might be enough for you and your loved ones to learn the strategies that will help you manage any future conflict in the house.
Interested in group therapy for your family? Contact us today to see how counseling can help you solve family conflicts.