3 Practical Tips About How to Teach your Child Resilience

The world you’re raising your kids in today is probably very different from the world you grew up in. 

Society has changed rapidly over the past few decades, and despite what we may see on the news, the world is actually safer for children than ever before. But we still can’t protect our children from every potential problem—nor should we. 

Facing challenges and working through setbacks in childhood is crucial for building resilience that will carry into adulthood.

Parents want to know that their children will be able to handle adversity when they are no longer under their care, but how can you begin teaching resilience to a child? 

It doesn’t mean forcing your child to deal with problems they are too young to handle or letting them process difficulties all on their own without your help. 

If you want to teach your child resilience, it’s all about setting a good example, establishing boundaries, and teaching them that getting knocked down doesn’t mean you can’t get back up again.

1. Setting Boundaries

Working within limitations is part of building resilience. When a parent gives in to a child’s every whim, they learn that they can simply ask for whatever they want, and it will be given to them without any effort. 

But going into adulthood with that mindset can be damaging. Instead, establish clear boundaries to teach your child resilience. Basic examples can include having a set bedtime or only having dessert on the weekends. 

As your child gets a little older, asking them to put in extra effort if they want to do something special is an excellent opportunity to teach resilience and the value of a strong work ethic. 

For instance, if they ask for a particular toy or game, you may want to have them help out with some chores around the house.

2. Allow Them to Make Mistakes

No one likes to see their child’s disappointment when they realize that they’ve messed up. Who doesn’t want to protect their child from the pain of failure? 

But everyone makes mistakes, and the sooner a child learns how to bounce back from their mistakes, the better. Attempting to shield your child from ever making a mistake or facing a tough situation might seem like the best choice for them now. But in the future, it won’t serve them well. 

Allowing your child to make mistakes can feel uncomfortable. After all, deep down, you always want to see them succeed. But it’s crucial if you’re going to teach your child resilience. 

In time, it will get more comfortable, especially with the pride you feel as you watch your child keep trying without giving up..

3. Teach Problem Solving Skills

When your child comes to you with a problem, your first instinct is naturally to help them solve it. But what if you held back just a bit and let them take the lead? 

After all, resilience is all about one’s ability to withstand adversity and solve problems. Therefore, helping your child learn problem-solving skills is very important if you want them to be resilient as an adult. 

The next time your child comes to you and begins talking about a problem, encourage them to start thinking about ways they could solve it with “How?” questions. Don’t just ask them why they got themselves into that situation. Prompt them to consider how they can get out of it. Eventually, this will become a good habit. 

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Want to discuss in-depth strategies for teaching your child resilience and get professional guidance on parenting? Family therapy can help. If you’re in the San Diego area, contact me today to discuss scheduling a session.